My life

Its 1:35 Am in the morning and i’ve juz finished packing. I had a great time tonite. I had a farewell dinner with some of my closest friends during the last one year in Perth. It wuz lovely. And it wuz sad as well. Knowing that i’m gonna leave them, and realizing that i might not see them anymore. Well, sure, i’m lookin forward to see them again, but God knows when.

Its funny when you have to leave a new place and you feel like you’re leavin home. Well, at least, that’s what i feel. I love Jakarta. I love my Indonesia. But Perth is juz amazing. Its pretty quiet tho compared to Sydney or even Jakarta itself. Infact, its a far cry from Jakarta, in terms of the city-life. But its lovely here. The people, the ambience, the daily life. And i met some of the greatest friends while im here. The thing about friend is like, you dont expect anythin from them from the first time you came into a new place,. Hell, you dont even know who the fuck are they. But at the time when you have to leave them, it feels like you’re leavin a part of your life. And thats what i feel tonite.

I’m sad. I am. Really. Infact, i cried a lil bit when i wuz alone on my way home. Before, it wuz just me and Teddy at the end. We were walkin down the streets and we chat about things. And umm..yea, i took a leak around the bushes beside the railways. I
reckon It’s gonna be my last public-pee in Perth, so i deserved it. :p Btw, I didn’t cry when i walked with him. Thats so gay. What i’m tryin to say is, Its juz weird how time goes by so fast. I knew him last year, and next thing i know, i’m leavin him the next year. Its like leavin your brother. And its not juz Teddy. There were lots of ‘em, my fellow  Indonesians. Vodi - another brother in Perth - hez the first Indonesian that i met, apart from Ochel (my housemate) and Pri. A Great guy. Really fun to talk to, and we shared loads of common jokes in Javanese. Btw dude, when will you have yer own barbershop? ahahahah…Next, The Silitongas, they are really, really lovely folks. Sincere and kind. And they’re freakin funny too! They helped me a lot. Especially on the I.T stuffs. God bless ‘em. Horas lae! heheh… Then there is also..Poltak. I dunno what hez good at, but hez been one of my compadres in sober or in drunken time. Watchout mate, i aint gonna be there when you’re drinkin too much tequilas! :p The rest of ‘em are; Kitty -yuk joging napah. Bang Tigor. Asa. Aria - Aria mana? Ooohh Aria ‘tukang sayur’? - Permana, and many more. The list are endless.

On the other side of the fence, i made some friendship with some of the people i’ve never even thought of knowing. The French connection; The dynamic duo, Ludovic and Romain, two of the nicest non-Indo people that i met in Perth. They can speak bahasa Indonesia. Well, sort of. And they’re fuken funny when they said it.  They love to say "Kamuu payaaahhh!" (Ludo), and "Aku sayang kamuuu" (Romain). Or, "Duri dalam dagiiiii..nggg" (both), just to mock me. Their dream is to visit Indonesia someday. Hopefully soon.. When they’re sober enuff. The last of the Frenchies, ofcourse, the lovely Celine. Shez beautiful. Cute, with her innocent-looking face. But beware. Shez a devil in disguise. (Hahaha hope she doesnt read this blog) First, she told you that shez not in the mood to drink, but next thing you know, she’ll buy you 2-3 shots of Vodkas. And thats just the beginning. At the end of the day, you’re gonna be drunk, and shez still there with her innocent-looking smile, asking "do you want some more drinks?". Thats wut happened to me tonight. heheh.. Next stop, The pimp dady, Max Acharya. Canadian - Indian. One of my early best friend in Perth. We were there from the very beginning. He wuz a new student, and so do i. We met at ECU welcome party, and since then, hez been in several parties with me, both sober and drunk. Last but not least, therez also Nadeejda Eliseyeva. Nadya. Russian. Tei krasivaya. A great gurl. Lovely. Smart. Sexy. And a great kisser too. Heheheh i fell for her during my Business Economic class, and since then we’re ‘friends’ :p In addition, others includes Fozzil - LL Cool Fozz - Jaffar. Paulina - viva la Mexico! - Navarro Nunez and plenty more.   

These peeps are amazing. And its juz funny how Indonesians can get so
connected with them westerners. We shared the same jokes. The same
thoughts. Some common things. And ofcourse, we shared the same taste for alcoholic drinks.
heheheh wut can i say?  Alcohol unites people. Whether you like it or
not.

Aaanywaaay, i’m counting the hours before my departure today. Its almost 3 Am now. I gotta get some sleep. Im gonna miss Perth so fuken much. My apartment. Forrest Avenue. Wellington Square. City. Kings Park. The air. The people. The GURLS. Clubs. Night life. And the utmost, all my beloved friends, my extended family while i’m here during the past one year. i’ll see you when i see you guys! We’ll rendezvous someday. Take care. Play save. Stay sober. Keep in touch.

Bubye Perth… :’)

Huaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh akhirrrrnyaaa gw bisa nulis blog lagii! Setelah
apshen lamaaaaaaaaa bgttt, laptop gw waras juga (baru kelar di dandanin
tadi malem), thanks to Julius yg uda rela berkorban berurusan (lagi,
untuk ke 3x nya!) sama laptop tua renta yg sering bermasalah ini.
Padahal cukup banyak kejadian2 yg layak masuk blog selama laptop gw di
opname. Untuk menyiasati agar gw selalu terhubung dengan dunia maya,
kadang gw nebeng internet via laptop nya Teddy, dimanaaaa internet di
apartment nya kenceng naujubile! Buka
website/youtube/redtube/kaskus/facebook, etc uda kaya buka file di
kompu, lempeeenggg cepettt dah! Skali click, JDER nongol. Saking
kenceng nya tuh internet, kadang sbelom gw klik aja uda nongol. Laptop
setan.

Anyway, blog ini berkisah soal kejadian2 pas gw ke Sydney tempo ari,
dari mulai di bandara Perth sampe gw pulang. Lah ngapain luh ke Sydney
Gie? Well, berhubung gw tinggal menghitung hari dari kepulangan gw ke
Indo (yg pas blog ini ditulis, tinggal 3 hari lagi gw pulang.
huhuhu..gamau pulaang!), i decided to go to Sydney just to relax, liat2
kota selaen Perth di ostrali, and the utmost reason, to visit my old
friend, temen dari jaman gw masi bandel dulu, si Edwin namanya. Uda
dari dolo si biji ini mendesak nyuru2 gw dateng ke Sydney. Alesan
andelan yg paling sering digunakan biar gw kagaenak ati adalah dengan
mengedepankan persahabatan 10 tahun yg uda terjalin diantara kita.
Katanya dia mo ngambek, mogok mandi, gamau cebok, gamau ngomong sama gw
lagi kalo gw ga dateng, dan mengancam untuk memutuskan tali
persahabatan 10 taun itu. Kampret lu Win. The good side, dia uda di Syd
3-4 taun and dia menawarkan buat stay di apartment dia aja - ngirit
biaya penginapan, plus biaya makan dan kehidupan gw ditanggung katanya.
Gaya bener. Padahal pas gw disitu dibeliin makan nya Indomie mulu.
Huehuehe bcanda Wiiin. Kaga kok, lu bae bener. Cuma kentut lu kenceng.
Dan bau. Asli men. BAU. Apalagi kalo diruang tertutup. Lift contohnya.
Pas lu kentut itu, seketika ruangan diselimuti kabut kuning kehijauan.
Gw langsung panas dalem, bibir pecah2, gejala buang air besar. Jadi
suges pengen berak gw. Buset dah. Tobat Win.

Aaaaaaanywaaaaaaayyyy enuff said, here goes the chronicles: Sydney Journey Part.I

Jenggot + Indonesian = BOMBER

Gw uda mulai memelihara jenglot dari pas akhir2 kuliah. Jenggot maksud
gw. And i love my jenggot so much. I kid you not. I love ‘em. Bukan
apa2, ini karena gw menyadari bahwa secara genetis, gw emang lebih
susah numbuhin jenggot dibanding kumis. Bokap gw ber kumis. Nyokap gw
juga. HUSH! Kaga lah. Sori mah. Furthermore, gambarannya begini, kalo gw abis
cukur jenggot, setelah semingguan, jenggot gw kaga numbuh2, tetep
klimis. Taapi kalo gw ga cukur kumis semingguuu aja, bujug dah, tu
bawah idung uda jadi hutan tropis. Kalah Amazon. See? Thats why, in a
way, gw lebih sayang jenggot gw daripada kumis *kaga penting.

Anyway, setelah setaunan lebih di Perth tak pernah bermasalah dengan
jenggot kebangsaan gw ini, ya gw tenang2 aja kan. But not until THAT
faithful day. Pesawat gw ke Sydney brangkat dari Perth airport jam 4an
sore, berhubung gw solo traveller dan cuma bawa satu tas jinjing, check
in pun dengan mudah dan cepat kulalui. Cuma emang sii, setelah gw
inget2 skarang, pas di counter check in nya mbak2 nya sempet melihat gw
dengan muka aga curiga ala sinetron. Gw kira naksir. Uda kedip2 aje gw.
Taunya dia tanya "Are you Indonesian?  You’re travelling to Sydney by
yourself yea?  Business? Vacation?". I’m like "Euh..yea, i’m
Indonesian, and im gonna visit my friend in Sydney, before im goin back
for good". Then die liat ke gw, trus ke passport gw,  ngetik2 dikit di
screen komputer, and finally said "Okhay have a save journey". Saat itu
gw tidak berasa apa2. Lempeng. Bablas gw menuju tempat boarding.

Pas sebelom masuk tempat nunggu pesawat ituu, seperti layaknya sistim
keamanan masa kini, tiap orang kudu nglewatin metal detector, X-Rays,
dll, untuk kemudian teteph di re-check sama petugas jaga nya. Standard
procedure lah. Gw berhasil melewati gerbang pemeriksaan dengan mulush.
Tapi tiba2…Sesaat setelah gw ngangkat tas dan bergerak menuju
eskalator, mendadak ada (ibu2) sekuriti berbadan gede mencegat gw, then
dia bilang "Excuse me sir, i apologize for this inconvenience, would
you mind to step aside for a moment?" Gw bilang "Ha?  Yea no problem
sir (gw kira cowo buset dah! ahahahah). What izit?"

She-male: "Its just a RANDOM check on the passangers sir. Would you mind to show me your passport?"

Gw: "Euh..yea sure ma’am (gw uda ngeh kalo ni mahluk spesies cewe! heheh) here you go"

Sambil nunggu die liat passport gw, gw celingukan, dan i noticed
something. Die bilang ini RANDOM check? Lah kenapa penumpang2 BULE di
depan gw sampe ujung blakang sono KAGA ADA YG DIPREKSA?? Malah ada pak2
kaya India / Araph / Apalah itu (item dah pokoknya) abis gw, serem-muke
kriminil, DIBIARIN AJE?!? Kenapa gw yg cuma muke mesum dowang ini kok
ditangkep?!? Why God? Whyyyyy…???

Bencong TL: "So you’re Indonesian yea? Are you travelling alone? Where to?" sambil liat muke gw, trus liat passport gw lagi.

Gw: (Busyeehhh caabe deee..kok ya sama kaya pas di konter check in
pertanyaannya!) "Yea i’m Indonesian, im goin to Sydney for a week to
visit a friend, before im goin home for good. Been here over a year
now, so i guez i need to see more of Ass-tralia before i return home"

Dominatrix: (uda aga melunak, tapi tetep serem) "Ah yea, Sydney is a
beautiful city indeed sir. Now, if you dont mind, would you please open
your luggage sir? Iz that okhay?" –> basabasibusuk, kalo gw kagamau
buka tas gimana? Jangan2 diperkosa gw sama dia. Amit2.

Gw: (aga bingung) "Yea sure. Why izit?? Somethin wrong??" sambil mulai buka baju. KAGA LAH. Buka tas maksudnya.

Nini pelet: "I’m sorry sir but its a standard procedure. Did you
prepared your luggage by yourself? Or you have friends that helped you
out?"

Gw: (tamba bingung) "Ha?  Ofcourse i did it myself. Im travelling alone. WHYY??"

Sundelbolong: "No, just incase, if you have someone else preparing your
luggage, he or she might put somethin in it. Like..umm..Do you have
explosives inside your luggage?"

JENG JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!
Saat gw mendengar kata "EXPLOSIVES" itu, otak gw langshung berpikir
cepat. Gw Indonesian. Gw pegi2 ndiri. And..Gw..BERJENGGOT. If you still
don’t quite get it, i’ll do the formula for you: Indonesian +
travelling sendiri + jenggot = BOMBER.

KAMPRET! Die kira gw sodara nya Amrozi?!? Imam Samudra?!? Apa kaga
Osama skalian apa?!? Ato die kira gw masuk sindikat tukang jualan mercon internasional?? Petasan
banting?? Bussyeeeehhhhh…aaade2 aaaje!!

Tersangka Amrozi: "WHAT?!? EXPLOSIVES?? Why would i put explosives in
my luggage?!? Hehehe..Here, i’ll open my luggage for you. Or if you
want to check it yourself, be my guez".

Mak lampir: (uda melunak, sambil mreksa2 pake metal detektor!) "Hehe i
knew you wouldn’t have those things in your luggage, i apologize, but
it’s a standard procedure sir. I am very sorry" (sambil kemudian
menutup tas gw lagi setelah kaga nemu apa2)

Tukang mercon: "Pheww..Thats okay. I understand. Is that all? Can i go now?"

Buto ijo: "Yes sir you can go now. Have a nice trip." Sambil ngedip2
trus ngremes pantat gw sbelom gw cabut…EEEEEEWWWWHHHH…YA KAAAGA
LAH!!!!

Aftermath, gw langshung buru2 caw sebelom die berubah pikiran, and gw
kaga nengok2 lagi ke blakang. Serem. Pamali. And to kill some more
time, as i waited for my plane, i bought a great book called "I hope
they serve beer in hell". You guys should also read it. Its hillarious.
Seriously funny.

Well, begitulah kisah awal perjalanan gw ke Sydney. Dari bandara di
Perth ajaaa uda dogol bgini, gimana di Sydney?!? Mana temen gw si Edwin
itu juga kadar dogol nya sama ma gw, so i wuz really hoping for a
wild-weird adventure ahead. Heheh

to be continued….

Extras:
Setiap solo traveller, co terutama, selalu ngarep kalo di pesawat /
kreta / bus / kapal, bakal duduk barengan / sbelah2an sama ce. Sukur2
cantik. Ya kan? Ngaku luh! And that includes me. Gw uda memanjatkan doa
malem sbelomnya, semoga perjalanan gw slamet sampe tujuan (i dont like
to travel by plane. Serem brur!), and semoga sebelah gw ada ce cakep.
And God heard my pray that night.

Gw duduk di seat 51 H, itu di deket aisle nya. As i walked down my
seat, gw uda deg2an harap2 cemas. Pas sampe di tempat duduk gw, doa gw
terkabul. Gw duduk pas disamping ce. Cakep. Pas taun 1942. SBELAH GW
NENEK2 BUSET!!! God surely have a great sense of humour eh?
heheh..Well at least gw slamet sampe tujuan tak kurang suatu apa. Lov
you o’dear God.