My life

HUAH! Uda tanggal 5 November lagi kemaren. That means, every once in a year I have to wake up and realized that Im gettin older. Yes indeed. I am officially turnin Twenty-six yesterday. *sigh*. Man, ini kalo di jagad per chatting-an ala MIRC mah uda kaga laku neh! Masa depan suram!

Nickname: Bang_ganteng VS Ce_sexy20 or ce_chantique19 or whatever those b*tches named themself :p

*Bang_ganteng : Hi there! ASL pls?

Ce_sexy20 : 20/f/Jkt. u?

Bang_ganteng : 26/m/Jkt

Ce_sexy20 : GTG

Bang_ganteng : … (WTF?!?)

ATAU SEPERTI INI

*Bang_ganteng: Heyya! ASL pls?

Ce_chantique19: F/19/JKT. u?

Bang_ganteng: m/26/jkt

Ce_chantique19: BRB

(Stenga jem kemudian msh diem)

Bang_ganteng: … (dammit!)

*ilustrasi di atas diperankan oleh model. Bila ada kesamaan nama maupun tempat itu murni kebetulan belaka :p

About being 26. Not that I feel like I’m old already, nor the fact that I am already a fully-grown up-and-mature-homo-sapiens-male-of-twenty-fuken-six now  but to realized that the past twenty six years has gone by so fast really amazed me. Friends come and go, so does lovers. Some stays, but some have gone. Aneka Ria Safari jadi MTV. Gogle Five jadi Power Rangers. Wok With Yan jadi Pak Bondan - Mak Nyuss - Winarno. Saiful Jamil jadi gay. Cuma Tantowi Yahya doang yang tetep gitu2 aja kayanya. Except that he’s into country music nowadays. With the hats too. Ew..WHY the f*ck dude? WHYY??

Aaanywaay, after I looked back during those years, I have found some amazing facts that comes along with my twenty-six years of livin. Some of ‘em are:

(1) Selama dua-puluh-anem-taon gw berada di muka bumi, gw BELOM PERNAH, I repeat, BELOMM PERRNAH, ehm..MAKAN DUREN!!! Huehehe asli, gw belom pernah makan duren satu biji pun. Seinget gw, gw cuman pernah nyolek DIKIITTTT BGTTT. Abis itu ogah. Gatau kenapa. Prolly becuz of the smell (gw aga pusing kalo bau duren. Apalagi bau kentut nya orang yg abis makan duren. Bisa bikin impoten akut). Or, its prolly becuz of the shape. Kaya ikan buntal tapi bau. Ew..

(2) Pas gw lair duluuu, sampe gw cukup aware buat ngeh siapa2 aja orang di sekitar gw, gw inget Yu Rani (pembantu gw) tlah ada bersamaku. Sampe gw berumur dua enem gini, shez still here with me. Gilak ye? Kalo di ketentaraan, Yu Rani ini uda dapet Satya Lencana Pengabdian 26 taun! Uda jendral bintang tujuh! Medali tanda jasa nya uda bejibun buat gw and keluarga gw. Dari gw kencingin, gw hantem pake gayung pas mandiin dulu, sampe pas die nyebokin dan tau nya (maaf) e’e gw masi keluar, dijabaaaninn sama dia dengan penuh kasih sayang! Emang Yu Rani mantep dah. Masakan nya enak pun. Cuma dia aga ganjen aja kalo sama co. Sama suka makan Pete / Jengkol shemmbarangan bau nya nyebar sampe pekarangan!

(3) Gw phobia sama TOKEK and KECOA. Kalo Coro (kecoa - Javanese. red) mah masih mendingan dah, secara gw sampe sekarang masi bertempur ampir tiap hari sama pasukan jihad coro yg brani masuk kamar gw. Tinggal injek JLEGER, beresh. Ato ga, gw tawan tuh coro yg uda stenga mampus, trus gw interogasi. Gw semprot pake Baygon anti-nyamuk-dan-kecoa yg warna ijo, pelan2, sampe mereka ngaku dimana temen2 jihad nya yg laen berada. Cuma sayangnya, rata2 sih uda klepek2 dan membujur kaku sbelum mereka sempet ngasitau info penting tersebut. Damn.

And as for TOKEK, gw gak gt inget gimana awalnya, cuman yg jelas gw emang aga geli liat dari bentuk nya aja, kan tokek uda kaya hewan purba gt kan. Totol2, bergelombang kulitnya, menyerupai cicak bongsor. Suara nya aja nyebelin. Eh denger2 kalo lu denger suara tokek 7X berurutan dan brenti pas abis bunyi ke 7, brati ada KUNTILANAK?!? Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii…Dan emang, riset kecil2an gw membuktikan, tokek itu JARANG BGT berbunyi 7x straight dan diem! Mentog2 yg ke 6 dia brenti, ato malah kalo tokek abis nyimeng, dia bunyi bablass sampe 8 ato 9x! Hii..Uda ah. Yg jelas sih mungkin karena beberapa hal juga gw phobia sama tokek.

Gw pernah liat Tokek gembrot mafioso penunggu rumah gw di Serang dulu, dengan keji dan tanpa ampun memakan CICAK yg ukurannya juga ga kecil2 amet a.k.a mayan gede! Buseng deng. Jeruk makan jeruk pan itu. The other thing wuz, I had one of the worst nightmare in the past 26 years, involvin’ tokek! Singkat nya, gw tuh iseng2 gangguin salah satu tokek dedengkot di rumah gw di Serang (Yep. Rmh Serang gw itu emg jadi tempat rendezvous paporit buat tokek2 setempat buat ngumpul), dengan cara gw timpukin pake remahan pisang goreng! Lama2 tuh tokek aga goyang2 tidak stabil gt kan nempel nya, dan akhirnya die JATOH! Untung kaga niban gw. Malem nya, gw ngimpi gw tidurr, dan terbangun karena gw ngerasa ada somethin yg bergerak2 di kaki gw. Then I woke up. And I wuz in shock. Karena yg gw liat di kamar gw hampir seluruhnya dipenuhin TOKEK!!! Dari meja blajar gw, lantai kamar, sampe jendela dan gorden pun tampak tokek bergelayutan!! FUCKKK!! The worst of the worst, tu tokek dedengkot ternyata NEMPEL di KAKI GW sambil berbunyi menyeramkan!! Wanjeeeeeeeeenggggg asliii creepy abisss! Sumpah gw ga bo’ong! Gw masi inget bgt tuh mimpi. Ini aja pas nulis skrg gw sampe mrinding ndiri neh kalo inget2 tu mimpi. Hii

(4) About my lovelife. Saya jarang jadian. As in, having an ‘official’ gurlfriend to spend your quality time together. Seinget gw, selama duapuluenam taun terakhir ini, gw hanya 5x Jadian. The longest relationship I had wuz a year and eleven months. That wuz a personal world-record for me! The shortest one wuz..umm..24 hours. I dunno. It wuz back in Perth. I had too many beers. And it wuz dark backthen. Heheheh naah, kiddin! :p The rest of my relationship with the opposite sex had been an on-and-off mostly in an ‘unofficial’ or so-called open-relationship. I dunno, I enjoyed being in relationship, but being single and free doesnt bother me at all. I guess I juz feel like i’m too young to be monogamous :p

(5) I am officially a gamefreak! Its been 20 years now, and still runnin strong! Heheh..Pertama kali gw kenal game console itu pas gw umur 6 taunan, jaman itu belon ada XBOX 360, apalagi PS3, yang ada cuman sebuah alat berwana item berbentuk kotak persegi dengan ‘kaset’ berupa catrdige yg dimasukin dari atas. Kalo macet2 ato hang, tu kaset di keplak2 di tangan ato di pantat, di tiup2, sambil di goyang2in, dengan harapan bakal beres urusan (padahal mah kaga ngaruh juga!). Yap. Tidak lain dan tidak bukan, its the mother of all console, the great ATARI!! Man, jaman segitu, lue baru officially dibilang AGP (Anak Gaul Purwokerto - SD gw di Purwokerto nyed) kalo lue uda ada ATARI di rumah. Dan temen2 yang diundang ke rumah lue buat ikutan maen merupakan orang-orang pilihan yg bisa naek status sosial ato derajad ke-gantengan-nya dalam belantika pergaulan anak muda masa itu! Sssssaaaaaaaahhh..Gaya bgt yak! Hahahaha..

Seiring berkembangnya console, gw juga mengalami perpindahan dari ATARI ke Nintendo, dimana MARIO BROS menjadi game yg wajib KHATAM hukum nya kalo lue ngaku gamer sejati! Game2 legendaris yg gua inget seperti CONTRA (gw inget, alm. bokap gw sampe ngasi sayembara kalo gw bisa namatin CONTRA gw bkl dikasi Rp5000! I made it.), PUNCH OUT, yg raja terakhir nya MIKE TYSON (masi belon doyan gigit kuping doi), sampe DONKEYKONG yg masi versi primitive tapi menyenangkan. After Nintendo Entertainment System (NES), I moved on to SEGA dengan Sonic The Hedgehog-nya, and adterwards I jumped in to Super Nintendo Entertainment System (Super NES) with its smashing classic like STREET FIGHTER II! Wedeeewww..Pas Super NES keluarin SF II yg MIRIBH bgt sama di ding-dong, gw langsung insyaf ga mo maen ding dong lagi diluaran. Di rumahh teruss maennya!!

Movin on. At the end of Super NES era, the next-gen console took place. Mulai deh Playstation keluar. Gw inget ini pas gw uda SMP di Jakarta neh. Gw sangat amazed pas liat graphic Playstation di majalah game, gilak mantap bgt. Dan salah satu temen gw beli tuh PS1, jadilah gw jadi tamu setia di rumah si kancut EDWIN. Hot games pada masa itu meliputi TEKKEN, sampe NBA Live, sampe WINNING ELEVEN versi purbakala! Yg gw inget, emak gw ga tega ngeliat anaknya lebi doyan ke rumah temen daripada rumah sendiri, akhirnya gw dibeliin tuh Playstation idaman! Heheh..Aaaand the last console yg gw punya, dan masih setia gw mainkan sekarang adalah PS2. I knoooowww, I should move on to PS3, cuma karena gw pikir, perkembangan console ini kan begitu pesat, tar gw beli PS3, tau2 setaun agi uda ada PS4!! Kan rugi bandar. Mana CD nya mahall bgtt pun (sbenernya ini alesan sbenernya gw aga males beli PS3! ahahaha). Jadi saya cukup puas maen PS3 nebeng sama sodara saja

(6) I’m a die-hard fan of AC MILAN. It started when I wuz about 12 years old. I dunno how it started tho, but I guess its becuz of the team colors. I love the combination of Red-and-Black, the Rossonero. Since then, I never stopped watchin every AC MILAN’s matches whenever its broadcasted on the telly. And yea, I cried on the final of the Champions league when Milan lost to a 1-0 match with Patrick Kluivert scored the winning goal for Ajax. I cried for the second time when Liverpool kicked Milan’s arse after a penalty shootout. The last time I cried for Milan wuz when they won their last Champions league. Pippo Inzaghi and Kaka were fuken amazing. Brilliant.

(7) In relation to point 6 above, my personal goal is to come and visit Italy before I got married! To be exact, to visit Milan and its stadium, the San Siro! Kenapa before married? Are you kiddin me?! Italian gurls are the most good-looking and sexy creatures that God ever created!! So, why bother travelling with your wive?!? Think guys. Think. Hehehe..Furthermore, gw tidak pernah kepikiran buat bikin tattoo. Buset, bisa digebukin orang sekeluarga! Tapiii, KALO pun someday gw sangat ber hasrat bikin tattoo, therez only one picture in my mind: Gw pengen bikin tattoo LAMBANG NYA AC MILAN di pundak blakang kiri / kanan, ato di tengah punggung skalian yg rada gedeee!! I mean it. Im dead serious.

(8) Saya sangat menggilai tante MONICA BELLUCCI, a.k.a Mbak Mon, a.k.a Jeung Monic, a.k.a That-super-sexy-MILF-from-Italy-with-super-hot-ass-and-tits. Shez a goddess. It adds one more reason why I love Italy! Ini semua berawal gara2 gw nonton film nya, MALENA (sedikit rekomendasi, coba ntn yg UNCENSORED! heheh), trus lanjut sampe IRREVERSIBLE (again, kalo bisa ntn yg UNCENSORED! ahaha), then film2 nya dia yg di Euro sana, sampe yg skrg2 kaya Shoot ‘Em Up, dll. Ibaratnya Mbak Mon ini kalo di dunia otomotif, biar kate mubil second, tapi bebas dempulll, mulushh, harga tinggiii! Uda kaya Honda Estilo! hahahah

Aaaaanywaayy, saya rasa saya sudah nulis kebanyakan, so the last tidbits of this blog is about realizing that ritual tiap ulang taun gw nyaris sama pas di awal hari nya. Setelah gw inget2 lagi, uda beberapa taon blakangan ini gw selalu memulai tgl 5 november pagi dengan acara buang hajat besar2an! Its been almost 10 years now I guess. Gak tau kenapa, pasti tiap tgl 5 november pagi, perut gw selalu berontak dan berbunyi aneh. Walhasil, gw selalu mengawali hari dengan bercengkrama secara khusyu di toilet. Yah gapapa lah, itung2 buang sial. Old habit die hard ey? hehehe

- The End -

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 5th, 2008 at 11:30 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.